Forex is difficult for everyone and done so to be so. Because if it will be so easy then everyone will do that. How do you really go without that ? You really need to start small and then increase everything you really want here. Step by step.
What you are writing is very very interesting and sound like a solid horror story anyway. Do you know at least any basic guides who can guide us to get there or not ? I mean at least to the place. Or all of them scared as well, correct ? Still reply please.